Hangin out in the fancy bars, with the boys who play guitar

I should be doing a lot of other things right now. I should be writing up the script for one of my first ever completely planned out videos. I should be reading a book on how to argue properly or a book that discusses Americas Religious Illiteracy (its actually been really good so far). Oh and I should be studying for my first math exam that is next Thursday but instead what am I doing? Blogging. Of course, because apparently the inspirations to blog only can come at the most inopportune times.

Of course I would sit down and read the other blogs I follow and be hit with the craving to write. I crave writing almost as forcefully as I crave food after a stressful day. Yes, I am being honest with myself, I stress eat and avoid my problems. Not the healthiest idea for a girl my size but hey, at least I can come out and say it online. Now if only I had the strength to admit it to my parents, or the strength to find a solution. The fact that I have accepted that I am fat and that I have found that I really don't have a problem with that, is not making this any easier. Admitting it is the hardest part people have told me. Uh, No. The hardest part is fixing it and sticking to a plan. Because I am sorry but an elliptical machine doesn't do it for me like a double cheese burger with onions.

Aside from my issues of replacing stress with food, and my overwhelming habit of blogging when work should be getting done. Life hasn't been too terrible to me, thus far, I still have the rest of today, Saturday and Sunday to get through.

I am actually really excited about a few things; Halloween, Buying and subsequently reading John Greens books, ( I am really trying to find books to read for enjoyment again), Thanksgiving (not for the food, for the David who will be returning to the area, which is near my house), and the New Moon movie,(drools and shakes with anticipation).

If you don't know who John Green is that's cool, He is one half of the team known as the Vlogbrothers, and he is made of awesome. He and his brother Hank started the Vlogbrothers channel and the Nerd Fighter network. Now a Nerd fighter is not someone who runs around and beats up nerds no no no. A nerd fighter is a nerd who fights for awesome and to deplete the world wide levels of suck in the world. ( I know that it really sounds like I am making this all up but I am not.) I am a self proclaimed Musical/ Choir Nerd. John Green has written three books, all of which I plan on reading in my spare time: Paper Towns, Abundance of Kathrine's, and Looking for Alaska. And I want them all in paper back...here's why, I like paper backs way more they are lighter, easier to carry and typically smaller in size.

Fun facts that contribute to my love of John Green.

-He hates unicorns

-His dog Willy

-His adoration of his wife the Yeti

-And the use of the Bonly (a combination of the words best and only.)

Everyone should go check him and his brother out. You will not be disappointed.

Listening to love songs just to break my own heart

Sitting at my favorite desktop computer in my schools tech center. I love this computer. I don't care if is weird to love a piece of machinery. But I love it. The screen is very big and lovely, it does not shut down on me randomly while I work. It plays the videos I need to watch without being laggy and gross. But I did not set out to write this blog as a tribute to the beautiful mac desktop.

I wanted to get my own personal voice written down before I have to go and write about stuff I care less about. Well, I think I will do this blog bullet point style because I am supposed to meet Jenny L. upstairs in like ten minutes.

-I have always struggled with math. And now since I want to be a kindergarten teacher, I have to take a few math courses and my college happens to be one of the most difficult colleges to take and pass math at. LAME LAME LAME LAMEEE Needless to say I have been stressed and working really hard in order to do well.

ughh I don't have enough time to do the rest. You know what I will put it into the new video blog I am going to film and edit tomorrow and tonight. Crap I wanted this to be better than it is going to end up to be. I promise a better one will be coming out soon!

hayleyghoover is the reason I write.

A bold statement to be made I know blog, but it is true. Until about a year(ish) ago when I began following her I hadn't felt the need to vlog or blog. I mean I used to blog a lot back when everyone had a livejournal and it was what you did while being in high school. But somewhere back by my Junior year I stopped. most likely because I felt I had nothing left to write and because of the wonders that are myspace and facebook. But now I blog semi regularly. Only when I feel that there is something important for me to type or when I have a topic I wish to discuss. Primarily by myself. People think that talking to yourself is a sign of mental instability when it is my opinion that it is a health way of discovering how you feel about something. Like take me I am actively narrating what I do on a semi weekly basis. Being able to write things down and see them brings forth a whole new level of understanding for me. Words can trigger anything in my brain. I am working on a video now about how my mind works. It is a slow process, mainly because of school and work. Oh, that and the fact that my laptop is not the most reliable object in my life. I think that it is easier to be honest with yourself when it is only you that you have to answer too. Not a shrink or a parent, because it is easy to lie. Lying is something I am good at. Its not like I wanted to be good at it, it just came naturally. However, I cannot lie to myself. I know what is true and what is untrue. No matter what comes out of my mouth. This theory of mine only came to be true once I started to blog again. And the only reason that happened was because of miss.hoover as I call her, though I know I am not the only one. After seeing her new video weather it be on 5AG or HayleyGHoover I feel inspired and slightly ashamed that I am not doing something more creative with my life. I really could do so much more. At least that is what my determination tells me. I will strive to be Hoover-esque. I will not copy I will just do what I believe Hayley does, be creative, be original, be yourself, and do whatever you think is funny. Write thoughtfully, analyze critically and don't be afraid to be honest.

Even if Hayley never reads this, which I kinda doubt she would happen to stumble upon it I am happy with what I wrought. Now I will go to my Composition class then get some Stromboli. Because honestly what is better than some pizza rolled up with cheese just pouring out and ranch dressing. God I love ranch dressing.. nom nom

Oh and lastly I would like to point out that I love Mac desktops way more than the mac books. The one I'm on now at school is beautiful and I have never lusted after a machine before.

Nothing a little anxity can't cure.

So after spending a majority of my day yesterday taking care of two little boys who are cuter than can be, I finally got to be fully worried about starting my junior year. I mean its honestly really easy to forget about your worries while holding a baby. This year can have no screw ups. I need to do very well, I am trying to bring out my competitive edge this summer. I need to fight for a job in the OC area. And if I don't get one here, I'm going to try for chicago. I love it there so much. Never ending flow of love for the Chicago. But I don't get to get the first day of school over with until my teachers stop their strike. I don't disagree with the strike, I wish the powers at be would just give a little and let me get on with my year. I need to buy books and get supplies.
If they boosted our tuition up by 9 percent why can they not find the money for my teachers? ARG.

Does anyone have any plans for tomorrow? Want to hang out?